On finding self

I just found this a little while ago and it’s perfect for what I have finally grown into. I used to follow the crowd so that I could fit in. I didn’t know that that was a mistake. I wanted to do the things that I knew would make everyone accept me….that was also a mistake.

I have learned much in these 53 years of life. I have learned that you can try to do what everyone else is doing, but you will never really fit in, so yes, it is best for me to just do me…..be who I truly am and do what I love, think the way I think, because at the end of the day, those that really like me, still will……..those who really love me, still do, and I am grateful that I’ve finally found what is right for me.

I hope you all have found your way, and if you haven’t, I truly hope that you soon will.

If you want to know more about me and how I live, you can have a sneak peek at my YouTube channel. Here is the link:

🌹🌹 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCopeuk53MA1yZp32xlP_DQg

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Advertisements

How to Believe in Yourself and Build Self-Confidence

 

When it comes to success, nothing is more important and influential than self-confidence and belief in oneself. In fact, if we want to be successful, self-belief is more important than intelligence, talent, background, or just about anything else. In addition to this, people who have self-confidence and believe in themselves are healthier, happier, have better relationships, and are more motivated and resilient.

There are many factors that affect our self-confidence, including our parents, our upbringing, our environment, our beliefs, past failures and successes, society, how other people treat us, the media, and our experiences at large. Research suggests that the beliefs individuals hold about their abilities powerfully influence the ways in which they behave and achieve (see Bandura, 1977, Parajes, 1996, p. 543). Interestingly enough, a lack of self-confidence is not directly related to a lack of talent, skill or ability. It is more related to our perception.

So what does it mean to believe in oneself and possess self-confidence? Loosely defined, it is the feeling of confidence in our judgment, abilities, and qualities. It is sometimes referred to as self-efficacy. This, in turn, affects almost every area of our lives, including how we think, feel and act. This is why it is so important.

All of us have made mistakes, experienced failure and felt disappointment in our lives. I know I certainly have had more than my fair share. Some of us have also been subjected to hardships and injustices. All these experiences affect a person’s self-confidence and faith in his or her own abilities. Fortunately, there are ways to develop a strong self-belief even though it does require some time and effort. It is important to remember that our past does not have to dictate our future. The only thing that matters is how we act today. So let’s look at some empowering ways to build our confidence.

How to Gain Self-Confidence and Start Believing in Yourself

1. List your past successes and accomplishments
Most of us are unduly hard on ourselves. We tend to recall our mistakes and failures more than our successes. Sure, we have fallen short and blundered as everyone has at one point. But we also have managed to overcome difficult situations successfully and accomplish things that we can be proud of. We tend to focus on our shortcomings rather than what we have achieved.

Make a list of all the things you have achieved in your life, both big and small. You will be surprised how many things you have accomplished that you overlook and do not give yourself credit for. Even more effective, add accomplishments to your list every day or every week and read it often. You are more capable than you realize.

2. Seek positive feedback from others

Ask the people closest to you to tell you about your positive traits, talents and skills. Since we tend to be extremely critical of ourselves, get positive feedback from others who are better able to see your virtues. You may be surprised by what you hear and may learn that you have more going on for you than you realized. Positive reinforcement from others can be very powerful and empowering. The more regularly you do this, the bigger an impact is has on your self-confidence and belief.

3. Question your current negative beliefs and replace them with positive ones

One factor that determines our level of self-confidence is our beliefs. Many people with low self-confidence hold limiting beliefs that are not based on reality. For example, you might believe that nobody likes you when, in actual fact, there are many people who love you and cherish your company. Or you might believe that you are terrible at math when, in actuality, you did not try that hard in math class or had a teacher that was not effective. Or you hold the belief that you are not good at running your own business when you have never really tried.

Take the time to write down your limiting beliefs and question their accuracy. Just as people once believed that the world was flat, acknowledge that many of your limiting beliefs are flat out wrong. Be honest with yourself and look for evidence that disproves your beliefs. Then substitute your beliefs with empowering ones that are based on truth. Review these beliefs often until they become part of your new belief system.

Personally, when I was overweight and out of shape many years ago, I had the limiting belief that I did not have the willpower to get fit and I believed that I had a certain body type that prevented me from being fit and strong. Once I challenged those beliefs, I realized that they were fallacies. This opened the door for me to develop confidence in my ability to get in shape. That change in my belief system changed my life. Similarly, I have questioned the accuracy of many other limiting beliefs in my life and now realize that they were wrong. This has been a game-changer for me.

4. Take tiny steps and make small changes

Many of us look too far into the future and forget that a journey starts with the first step. When we take tiny steps and make small changes in our lives, we slowly start to believe in our ability to take action. If you want to lose 40 pounds, start small by reducing your food intake by 100 calories every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, for example. If you want to get in shape and exercise 5 days a week, start walking briskly for 5 minutes 3 times per week. If you want to read 50 books a year, start by reading for 5 minutes each day. The point is to do small actions which you can slowly increase over time. When you do this, you start to realize that you are capable and you begin to bolster your self-confidence. The worst thing to do is to take no action at all.

5. Build momentum

When we act and take small steps, we start to build momentum. We know intuitively that once we start moving, our momentum makes it easier to keep going forward. This is why it is so important to take action, no matter how seemingly small. Much like a rocket launch that uses the most fuel in the first stage, once you start moving, your propulsion becomes easier.

6. Think of a fear you have overcome

When we lack confidence and self-belief, we become fearful that we are not good enough or worthy enough. We fear the consequences associated with failing so we do not try. This fear can be paralysing as we all know. In order to counteract this fear, think of the times when you were scared of doing something but did it anyway and were successful. It could be the first time you dived into a pool, or when you asked someone out on a date, or the time you acted in a school play or played a musical instrument in front of a small audience. This might seem trivial, but write these instances down. We all have the ability to overcome fear. Very often, our minds exaggerate possible negative consequences and replay them over and over in our heads. Most of our fears are unwarranted. As Mark Twain said, “I have spent most of my life worrying about things that never happened”.

7. Celebrate the wins/give yourself credit

When you take small steps and accomplish small wins, celebrate them. If you walked for 5 minutes today, celebrate it and give yourself credit. If you successfully wrote 2 pages of your novel, celebrate it. If you ate 100 calories less today than you normally do, celebrate it. If you meditated for 3 minutes this morning, celebrate it. Focus on what you accomplished rather than what you did not. Keep a success journal and write in it every day. List the small victories you experienced and feel good about yourself. You deserve it. This is a very powerful habit that will help to change your mindset and give you confidence.

8. Do your homework and prepare

One way to overcome a lack of self-confidence is to prepare diligently. For example, let’s say that you lack the confidence to give a speech. What will help bolster your confidence is doing your homework by researching your topic, practicing in front of a mirror, and rehearsing in front of a small number of trusted friends or family members who support you. All too often, when we lack the confidence that we can achieve something we want, we become paralyzed and do not even make the effort to prepare ourselves. Practice and preparation go a long way in helping you to build confidence in your abilities.

9. Improve your skills/competence

Closely related to the previous point, make the effort to improve your skills through constant learning. If you want to start your own business, enroll in a small business class at your local college. If you want to write a novel, then read good books, read writing blogs every day, and take a writing class. If you want to lose weight, then study nutrition or seek advice from someone who has done it before. We should always be learning and improving our skills and competencies. The mere act of doing so helps to build confidence.

10. Change or adopt a small habit

Habits are powerful and play a huge part in determining who we are and the type of person we will become. I learned this many years ago and since then have made numerous habit changes. For example, when I wake up in the morning, I adopted the habits of drinking a glass of water, making myself a cup of green tea, reading something positive, meditating, and then heading to the gym. I made these changes slowly but they have had a cumulative positive effect on my life.

Pick one habit you would like to change or adopt and start today. You could start flossing your teeth twice a day, eating a piece of fruit in the morning, sleeping and waking up early, reading 25 pages of a book each day, watching less TV, etc. Small changes lead to big changes. More importantly, when you change or adopt a good habit, your self-confidence grows because you learn that you have what it takes to take positive action.

11. Focus attention on the solutions and not the problems

When we lack self-confidence, we tend to focus on all that can go wrong instead of on all the things that can go right. We get daunted and overwhelmed by problems rather than trying to come up with solutions. Whenever you are paralyzed by your fear of taking on something challenging, try to come up with ways to overcome potential hurdles instead of concentrating on all that can go wrong.

12. Watch your internal dialogue

The average person has thousands of thoughts each day and much of this is negative. We are constantly talking to ourselves in our heads so it only makes sense to pay attention to the tone of our internal dialogues. We say and think things such as, “I am a failure”, “I cannot be trusted”, “She cannot be trusted”, “Life is unfair”, “I am too short”, “I cannot do this”, etc. With proper awareness, you can catch yourself when you have negative thoughts and dialogues and replace them with positive ones.

13. Stop complaining

Most of us know one or more negative people in our lives. These are the negative Nancys who find fault in and complain about nearly everything. When we complain, we are in essence highlighting things that are wrong instead of focusing on what is right. Pay attention to your mindset and stop complaining about circumstances because it only amplifies negativity and does not help your self-confidence. Speaking positively and optimistically helps to change our mindsets and provide us with the confidence that things will get better.

14. Accept the current situation

Another way to help increase our self-belief is by accepting how things are. This does not mean that we should not make the effort to change negative situations. It merely means that we

READ MORE   BY:  http://www.skilledatlife.com/how-to-believe-in-yourself-and-build-self-confidence/

Continue reading “How to Believe in Yourself and Build Self-Confidence”

Here’s The Real Difference Between Having Sex And ‘Making Love’

I had no idea what the difference was between sex and making love until I was 23.

I was with an older gentleman at the time and he asked me “what’s your definition of making love? I replied, rose petals and candlelight. He said that’s your definition of making love? Wow, there is a lot I need to teach you.

Clearly I was missing the emotional experience of sex that’s shared with someone you truly care for and love. As a teenager my only reference to sex was porn, that’s how I learned how to have sex.

As years went on, I now have a very clear understanding of how sex and making love are very different acts.

Sex is bio-mechanical and instinctive, we all know how to do it. Love making is slow, sensual, not goal oriented which allows us to experience the metaphysical being of oneness, this type of love making is truly an art in itself.

Many men I speak to and coach still have no idea what the difference is, because the majority use porn as an educational tool.

For a man becoming a great love – maker is about having the proper attitude and knowing how to use your erection as an instrument of romantic expression.

To become a great lover, you must first understand the difference between ordinary sex and making love.

Sex vs. Making Love

What’s your motivation?

Do you want to have a physical experience with no emotional connection or do you want to be intimate and express passionate LOVE to reach new depths with your lover?

Sex can be a physical thrill for a night or a few encounters, but lovemaking can be an ecstatic adventure of a lifetime and most women can feel the difference.

Sex is

READ MORE                       By:   Christina Antonyan        https://thoughtcatalog.com/christina-antonyan/2016/10/heres-the-real-difference-between-having-sex-and-making-love/ Continue reading “Here’s The Real Difference Between Having Sex And ‘Making Love’”

7 Ways To Improve Your Kissing Game, Because There Are Probably Some Tips You Haven’t Heard Of yet

Kissin’ ain’t easy. Well, actually, the act of kissing may be easy. But that doesn’t mean we are all good at it. You have to learn how to be a good kisser. And it takes practice to become a great kisser. Practice doesn’t always make perfect, but it makes for a much better kisser, that’s for sure. It’s not easy to admit that maybe you need a little help. Heck, some of us don’t even know we’re lacking in the kissing department. I mean, everyone has had a horrible kiss in their lives. And if they haven’t, they truly haven’t lived (or kissed that many people). The sad part is, that horrible kisser probably has zero clue that he or she isn’t great. You don’t want to go throughout your whole life being that guy or girl. You don’t want to live a full life and kiss like a kid in middle-school. So, if you’re kisses resemble that Spiderman kiss, then I’d say you’re a-okay! But, if you feel as if you could learn a few new tricks, read ahead.

Here are some ways to improve upon your kissing game, because everyone deserves to love getting kissed as much as they love kissing someone — plus, it never hurts to have a couple extra tricks up your sleeve to surprise your partner.

1. Remember to change it up

Change is good, especially when it comes to kissing. You don’t want to engage in the same old boring kiss, over and over. Spice up your kiss. Start off slow with a little bit of tongue and then work your way into a more aggressive kiss. Give little kisses here and there and then sometimes surprise your partner by using a different kissing style. Change up the speed and the motion, and you’ll have one happy kissing customer.

2. Your breath should be on point

There’s nothing more unsexy than bad breath. Your kiss could be amazing, but if all your kissing partner smells is pure garlic, it won’t be pretty. You don’t want your kiss to be overshadowed by bad breath. Make sure you pop those mints beforehand. Or carry a travel size toothbrush with you as a just in case.

3. Make sure you lips are kissable

Think of your lips as the foundation to a good kiss. You need to build a good and steady foundation. That means cracked lips are a no-no. Having cracked or chapped lips is like having a hole in your foundation. Your lips should look appealing — not like a piece of sandpaper. Furthermore, be aware of how much lipstick/lipgloss you’ve got on. Listen, I love wearing lipstick, but I also know it’s not the best in terms of kissing. It doesn’t taste all that great and it also leaves kisses a little messy. But, to each his own!

4. Be in tune with your kissing partner

To be a fantastic kisser, you’ve got to be in tune with the person you are kissing. Kissing isn’t a one-way street. You’ve got two people involved. If you are going to be kissing someone for the first time,

READ MORE             By:  Sara Altschule        https://www.bustle.com/articles/93122-7-ways-to-improve-your-kissing-game-because-there-are-probably-some-tips-you-havent-heard Continue reading “7 Ways To Improve Your Kissing Game, Because There Are Probably Some Tips You Haven’t Heard Of yet”

5 Ways To Raise Your Vibration Right Now

Raising your vibration means eliminating anything and everything that drains your energy or makes you feel low. It’s so important to understand that your vibration is the inner frequency that you hold which aligns you with your outer reality. Science has proven that nothing is solid and that everything is energy vibrating at different frequencies.

“If quantum mechanics hasn’t profoundly shocked you, you haven’t understood it yet. Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.” – Niels Bohr (Physicist)

Understanding how energy works will increase the quality of your life. When you feel good or happy, you attract positive experiences. When you feel down or low you attract negative experiences. Learning how to keep your vibration high is knowing that you have the power to change how you experience your life.  When you are in a high vibrational state, you are much more connected to your inner self and your primary focus is to live a purposeful, loving, and giving life. Learning to eliminate what’s keeping you stagnant will free up your energy to reach the next level of your growth.

1.  Mental Cleanse:

Art by Hiking Artist 

It is so important to do a mental cleanse in order to increase your vibration. Your mind is the number one place where your energy can be zapped or lowered. This can be through negative thoughts, over-thinking, or being pessimistic about what you can accomplish. If your thoughts are constantly taking you to the past where you feel regret or pain about something that has happened to you, then it is time to start forgiving yourself so you can be free from it. You have to forgive others too for your own mental well-being. You can’t carry that burden of playing the same thing over mentally that you’re no longer going through physically. Release yourself from it and free up some energy to start growing.

A big part of the mental cleanse is to realize what you give your attention to is either helping you increase your vibration or lowering your energy. The news can be a big trigger for a lot of people to feel fearful, sad, or angry about what’s going in the world. Yes, there are so many things happening, but we have to remember that in order to make a global impact, we have to start making personal changes in our own lives. How can we change the world if we are constantly projecting fear, negativity, and hopelessness? It is our duty to be responsible for our own energy state and how it affects the collective. Once we can be in harmony with the energy of peace and love, we can actually tune into a state that offers solutions on a global level.

With this understanding, you can start analyzing other ways you’re currently using your mental energy. Do you constantly tune into drama? What do you do with your spare time? Do you focus on personal development and self-improvement? You truly have the choice to do anything you want with your time. How you use that energy determines the results you get out of life. Mentally start tuning into what makes you feel good. Say kind words to yourself. Listen to music that makes your soul move. Watch movies that bring happiness and joy to your life. Have enriching conversations with yourself and with others. As you start to do what makes you happy, you’ll start feeling your energy going up.

2. Physical Cleanse: Eat High Vibrational Foods

Besides positive thinking, the fastest way to increase your vibration is consuming foods that are filled with vital energy. Energy is the core substance of everything in the universe. Without energy, there would be no life. Understanding how energy frequency works is important for your well-being. When your energy isn’t vibrating correctly, you are more vulnerable to diseases, negative thinking, and depression. Plants are filled with vital energy from the sun which your body naturally understands. The more you consume high vibrating energy foods, the more positive, energized, and vital you’ll feel.

In 1992, Bruce Tanio of Tanio Technology, an independant division of Eastern State University in Cheny, Washington, built the first frequency monitor in the world. There are now 5 of these frequency monitors- Bruce Tanio has one in Washington, one at Weber University, one at John Hopkins Institute, one in France & Dr. Gary Young of Young Living Essential Oils has one. Tanio measured different frequency levels and found this:

Healthy human frequency: 62-72 Hz

Colds and Flu start at: 57-60 MHz

Disease starts at: 58 MHz

Candida overgrowth starts at: 55 MHz

Receptive to Cancer at: 42 MHz

Death begins at: 25 MHz

In theory, if you are able to keep your body’s frequency above 62 MHz, you should not have to worry about getting sick. By raising the vibration of the body disease, virus, fungi and bacteria cannot live; the emotions become more pleasant and positive and negative thoughts and emotions do not appear in the thought pattern.

To prevent your body’s frequency from dropping to lower levels, avoid foods which have little to no vibrational value; any processed foods, white flour, processed sugar, canned foods, soda, frozen foods and especially fast foods because they contain most if not all of the above items. Start adding vegetables, juices, green smoothies and fruits into your diet. Take these steps today to start increasing your vibration and realigning with yourself.

3. Go Out Into Nature

If you can, go out into nature as often as possible. Spend time near the water, trees, and wilderness. You will be cleansed and healed by the powerful energy contained within that space. Nature fascinates me. It speaks a language that doesn’t require words. I started swimming in the ocean daily and the benefits have been out of this world. The beauty, simplicity, and the flow of the water completely transformed me. I love

READ MORE             By:  Idillionaire

http://idillionaire.com/blog/5-ways-to-raise-your-vibration-right-now.html Continue reading “5 Ways To Raise Your Vibration Right Now”

Angel or Tarot card of the week

20v181015_130230

Greetings to you!  I hope today finds you feeling good and having an all-around good day.

I’m not sure if you know it or not, but every Monday, I sit in meditation with my Guardian Angels and Guides so that I can pull the proper Angel or Tarot card to help give you a heads-up regarding the possibilities of your new week.

I do the Angel or Tarot card drawing because I feel it is important to help wherever and however I can, so I take this very seriously.  If you should ever happen to find that I haven’t changed the card, please believe I will get it done ASAP!

Be sure to come and check out what the Angels and Guides want you know.

Bright Blessings to you and yours.

Namaste

 

Ascension's blog

SPIRITUALITY AND LIFE COACH

ellisnelson

children's author

ACCREDITED SENIOR PSYCHOTHERAPIST/COUNSELLOR -Dr.Fawzy Masaoud-LONDON, ENGLAND

NO DESPAIR WITH LIFE AND NO LIFE WITH DESPAIR . Email: dr.fawzyclinic2019@yahoo.com

TheEnlightenedMind622

Open Your Mind

Dating

Dating Tips for Everyone

Sexuality

Sexuality and Dating

Albarakah Mart

Find amazing and usefull daily aacessories and utilities

Brain Warfare

Spiritual isn't non-physical, it's an elevation of the physical

unbolt me

the literary asylum

THE MIND OF RD REVILO

Conscious Thought: Driven by Intelligent Awareness

irevuo

art. popular since 10,000 BC

Rain Coast Review

Thoughts on my life... by Donald B. Wilson

EDV On The Fly

Your First Class Seat to All Things Endeavor Air

Maybe Crazy Help

Helping others understand mental health in a unique way

Matt B Comic

Lawn Care | Gardening Hacks | Yard Landscaping Ideas