How To Not Care What People Think About You

young woman looking out, worrying about what people are thinking

The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.– Virginia Woolf

Most people are victims of an odd obsession, one that causes them to spend their time worrying about what other people are thinking.

It’s odd because it’s just guesswork; pure fantasy that we create in our minds.

Somewhere inside of us, we know this truth, but we continue nonetheless.

And it is this incessant fascination with what fills the minds of other people that is the cause of so much anxiety and worry.

It’s time to quit this habit. It’s time to take back control of your mind. It’s time to stop caring what others think of you.

But let’s take this one step at a time.

First, we need to explore the reasons why you care so much what anyone thinks.

Then we need to identify some of the things that might be making the situation worse.

And, finally, we’ll dive into some of the ways that you can break free from this need to dwell so long on the thoughts of others.

Let’s begin…

Why Do I Care What People Think Of Me?

There isn’t a single cause or reason why we worry so much about the perceptions of other people. There are many.

Identifying the combination of reasons why YOU care so much about how you come across to others is vital if you are to begin to care less and eventually not care much at all.

Most of the reasons stem from one part of your psyche…

The Ego

Your ego is the part of you that you likely identify with most. It is the “I” that speaks much of the time; the “self” that you refer to.

And it’s not all bad. The ego sometimes plays an important positive role in how we act or feel or view the world.

But the ego also generates some of the negative thought patterns we experience, including our obsession with what others think of us.

Why does it do this?

Self-doubt: when we are unsure in ourselves and our abilities, we look to others to provide reassurance. We ask them to fill our ephemeral, ethereal beings with confidence.

We seek regular reinforcement of our fragile self-belief so that we may push our self-doubt down into a dark corner of our minds where it cannot affect us.

The problem comes when we do not receive the necessary words of encouragement from others to convince us of our self-worth.

Instead, we turn to our imaginations and construct our own versions of what others think. We fabricate their opinions of us.

But when you already feel insecure, the thoughts that you put into other people’s heads are likely to be less than kind.

You project your feelings of self-doubt outwards and convince yourself that others have the same doubts about you that you have of yourself.

If you think of yourself as weak, you believe that others see you as weak. If you worry that you’re not attractive, you convince yourself that others think you’re ugly.

Whatever negative thoughts you have about yourself become the negative thoughts other people must have of you too. This is what you tell yourself.

If you are self-confident, however, this need for reassurance is markedly reduced and so you worry less about what others are thinking.

The need to be liked: another way in which we put a value on our selves is by judging how well liked we are by others.

We want to feel like we belong, we want to be a part of something, we want to believe that we can depend on those around us should we need their help in times of trouble.

This is why loneliness is so detrimental to our mental health. When we have no one around us, we have no safety net to catch us when we fall.

And even when we have friends and loved ones in our lives, can we ever really be sure what they think of us and how far they would go to lend a hand?

That nagging self-doubt we just spoke about will rear its ugly head and cause us to doubt the true feelings of our friends and family.

We worry too much about the thoughts of others because they are hidden from us. They are unknowns and this scares us.

Until we can be sure that a good friend truly is a friend and not someone who


Here’s Why Everyone Needs A #SkinCareFridge By Maureen Sheen

skincare fridge

Photo: c/o Maureen Sheen
Move over, #topshelfie — it’s all about the #skincarefridge. A dedicated (mini) fridge filled with skin care products is the latest beauty trend making the social media rounds. And you can thank K-beauty for Instagram’s newest obsession du jour. Refrigerators specifically for beauty products have been popular in Korea for the last few years, and now skin care devotees and beauty enthusiasts allover are indulging in this luxury practice while putting their beautifully styled still life of go-to skin products on display.

“In college, I received a skin care fridge as a gift with purchase when I got a coat from a department store. I absolutely loved it and used it to keep all my favorite serums and moisturizers in my dorm room,” says Sarah Lee, Glow Recipe Co-CEO and Co-Founder. “It’s so great to see that this is having a moment now.”

It’s a great content opp, sure, but do you really need a skin care fridge? We’re definitely down to chill with this trend. “Keeping skin care cold can provide de-puffing and soothing effects,” says Soko Glam Merchandising and Retail Senior Manager Diana Chen. “Plus, there’s nothing more refreshing than applying a chilled sheet mask or cream.” So, for that extra ounce of pampering or to take your #SelfCareSunday to the next level, fridge it up.

Now, which jars, creams, lotions, and potions actually deserve coveted real estate in your skin care fridge? The experts of K-beauty’s leaders Glow Recipe, Soko Glam, and Peach & Lily spill the details below.

skin care fridge

Photo: Frigidaire

What to put in your #SkinCareFridge

According to Lee, a skin care fridge is great for keeping daily products like sheet masks, mists, serums, and moisturizers at an optimal storage temperature between 40-60 degrees Fahrenheit. “It can prolong the integrity of a formula, especially those with a high percentage of natural ingredients as the temperature is controlled and sunlight is kept out,” says Lee.

In addition, Peach & Lily Founder Alicia Yoon recommends keeping vitamin C and retinoid-based products in the fridge to help prevent them from breaking down and oxidizing faster, as well as to preserve their potency and efficacy. “Any live cultures should also be refrigerated,”


Tips for 2020

Take care of yourself!

Be sure to treat yourself well because you are worth it!




Take hot baths

Sip tea

Try a new wine or food

Do something different to get out of your comfort zone.

A Fresh New Day by The Silver Sage Witch of

See the source image

I now shower my spirit with love and light,

I banish the darkness to strengthen my sight.

Energy and power I now bond to me,

with harm to none, so now it shall be.

Magick surges through my heart,

giving me, a fresh new start.

My weakness and failures now melt away,

bringing me success,

and a powerful new day.

By The Silver Sage Witch  

(Victoria Baltimore Prutschke)


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