We asked two licensed massage therapists what their top five tips are in giving your main squeeze a spa-caliber massage at home. Miriam Benatti, licensed massage therapist at Euphoria Spa , and Edan Harari of Kinetic Massage Therapy, both in New York City, share the key elements, many of which go hand in hand, in making your special gift of DIY couples massage a success on Valentine’s Day and beyond!
1. Clear Space, Clear Mind
“Create a peaceful and loving environment,” Benatti says. “Sometimes our homes (especially city apartments) are anything but peaceful. Make sure candles and scented oils accent a warm, tidy environment.”
Be mindful and present by taking five minutes or so to clear your mind chatter and to prepare to work on your partner, Harari advises. “Remember, the mind is very powerful, so focusing on providing your partner with relaxation is key to helping them relax, let go and feel good,” he explains.
2. Use Simple Essentials Found around the House
Be sure you have all the items you’ll need around you to give an uninterrupted massage.
- Oil (almond or grape seed, even that olive oil you have in the kitchen) is preferable to lotion, which tends to absorb too quickly.
- Have a towel handy to pick up any spills.
- Use a pillow under the ankles and one for neck and face when he/she is prone (face-down) and prop the pillow under the knees when he/she is supine (face-up).
- Make sure your fingernails are not too long. And if you just got a perfect manicure, use your knuckles, fists, and forearms. You can still apply the right strokes with most any part of your hand.
3. Intuitively Indulge the Senses
“Remember that the massage is all about your partner and what they want or need,” Harari says. “Just because you like an elbow in your back doesn’t mean they do. Practice using your intuition to figure out what they like and what their body/muscles needs. If you can’t figure it out while being mindful, then just ask!”
On the same note, create an environment to invigorate the senses, Benatti suggests.
“Pick out some music you both love,” she says. “Use essential oils; they stimulate the brain’s limbic system, our most animalistic sweet spot of emotional memory.”
Choose your scent:
- Sweet orange and neroli will brighten the mood
- Ylang ylang and rose will
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Do you find that you keep attracting the wrong sort of partner into your life?
Time is ticking and you still haven’t found that perfect someone that you wish to spend the rest of your life with. Instead, you find yourself dating horrible, aggressive, needy or lazy guys or girls who have no similar interests or longevity.
You are not alone, statistics show that the average woman will experience four disastrous dates and seven different relationships before finding her life long partner, whereas men will experience four disastrous dates and eight failed relationships before finding his life long partner.
Finding a match is not easy, there are billions of people in this world but really only a select few that can peak our interest. Where do you begin? How can you narrow down the search and attract the perfect partner?
#1: There is no such thing as a perfect person
Whether you want to admit it or not, we all have a few undesirable traits that make us unique and different, whether it’s flaws, skeletons or other bad habits.
Forget about perfect when it comes to relationships. Forget about trying to find someone that checks all your boxes because that person probably doesn’t exist. You want to find someone who is not the perfect person, but a perfect partner and a perfect partner is someone who is so good that their flaws don’t even compare to how good they are. You want to be able to accept their flaws and learn to love and appreciate them as part of their personality.
In return, you want to find someone that accepts your flaws and appreciates them as part of your personality, and the only way you can attract this type of lover into your life is by accepting and appreciating your own flaws first.
When you make peace with who you are and all your so-called undesirable traits, you open up room for someone else to come in and appreciate them with you. Without completing this step, you may constantly find yourself attracting partners who are unaccepting or non-committal.
#2: You attract what you put out there which is exactly what you need
Just ended a date with another jerk? Sorry to say, there is a part of you deep down (probably subconsciously) that is attracting that jerk into your life and for whatever reason, it is necessary for you to encounter this jerk in order to move forward.
While this may be a hard pill to swallow, we are always attracting whatever energy we are putting out there or vibrating. The trap here is that we often have no idea what energy we are vibrating until we start looking at our thoughts, and often our thoughts can be centered around what we don’t want, rather than what we want.
Having fear or lacking confidence and not loving or honoring yourself are all recipes to attract undesirable partners. These undesirable partners that we do attract however, are also there to shed light on how high we value ourselves.
To attract the right partner, focus instead on learning to love and appreciate yourself and monitor your thoughts to ensure that you are focussing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.
#3: We seek our parents in our relationships
Many psychologists have stated that romantic love occurs when our unconscious mind is exposed to the archetype of parental love that we received as a child. This means that we are always searching for
Lemongrass Is highly recommended for times when the emotions are embedded in misery and in need to overcome it. It’s strong anti-depressant properties can always be relied upon to improve your mood. This herb helps increase, clarify, and sweeten communication between people. It’s antiseptic freshness makes it ideal for helping you to overcome illness.
Lemongrass is ruled by Mercury and thus is helpful for developing magical skills. It is commonly used to increase the power of amulets, to purify divination tools and spiritual preparations like baths. It can be added to water to cleanse a sacred space. It is a good anointing oil for meditation as it clears the mind, opens psychic channels and aids concentration. Sprinkle Lemongrass Essential oil throughout the home, or use in aroma lamps scattered throughout the home, to repel any negativity from entering the home.
Lemongrass is a cheerful, light hearted oil that serves as a reminder to keep things in perspective and not take them too seriously. It can be used to get in touch with the inner child. As a stimulating aphrodisiac it can be included in love potions and philtres. It is said to have powers to encourage lust, protect one from infidelity and bring about honesty in a relationship. Flavoring your food with it enhances romance and sexual pleasure.
Burn or carry a sachet of lemongrass when you are looking to remove or get through obstacles in your life. Lemongrass is said to bring luck and ward off evil for those who are around it. With high spiritual vibrations and it’s cleansing properties, lemongrass has become an important
Are you interested in learning about crystals which can help you with your love life? These crystals are not only pretty to look at, they are known to help in all matters of emotion!
The Ruby’s connection with love goes back to ancient history. Egyptians believed it was the stone of love. This beautiful gem’s use in crowns and regalia show its association with royalty; “love rules”. Fidelity has been a part of the Ruby’s influence, and the 40th wedding anniversary is the “Ruby Anniversary.” Love’s appreciation as a higher emotion aligns with the Ruby. It is said that a ruby will darken if an unfaithful lover comes near. The stone of the Root Chakra, the Ruby is also associated with sensual pleasures and physical passion. Wearing a ruby can increase sexual attraction.
Rose quartz beads have been dated back to the Mesopotamian culture, over 7,000 years ago. Considered by many to be the ultimate stone of love, the soft pink color and delicate beauty of rose quartz mirrors the delicate strength of love itself. Sometimes called the “love stone”, the color matches the aura given off by the heart Chakra. Wearing Rose Quartz jewelry can help bring healing and appropriate self-love. Meditating with Rose Quartz helps to instill calm and peacefulness. Carry a piece with you to help mend a broken heart and encourage gentle emotional healing.
This brilliant green gem has a long history with mankind. The emerald held an honored place in Egypt, aligned with both Horus and Isis. The ancient Greeks believed it was emblematic of the Goddess Artemis and was believed to help ease pain during childbirth. This stone, the color of the Heart Chakra, was once thought to lose its color or turn a mottled brown if a partner was cheating or unfaithful. Giving an emerald to the one you love is believed to ward away lustful thoughts. Emeralds symbolize psychic powers and the connection between those who share true love.
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